


The Results Are In

by citrusella



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack, F/F, Gen, I'm honestly not too sure where I'm gonna end up with this, Spoilers for Episode: s05e18 A Single Pale Rose, but that's why I'm bringing you all along on this ride
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-16 09:31:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11250360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrusella/pseuds/citrusella
Summary: Sadie gets a piece of mail from her dad. For most people that'd be pretty mundane, but it's a little more complicated considering who exactly her dad is.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I blame a wild string of chat messages almost a week ago for this.

Sadie eyed the correspondence in her hand. It felt normal and abnormal, familiar and foreign all at once.

By all accounts, to an outsider just glancing, it _looked_ normal—a plain white business envelope with her name, in English, peering through the plastic window. But that was where the similarities ended.

If anyone took a closer look, they'd note there was no address under her name, and at that, no return address either. No stamps or postmarks. It was a good thing her mom was the postman for their house as well as the head of the post office, because anyone else there dealing with this mail would have found it suspicious. It was designed to fly under the radar, but anyone with a proper eye for detail and especially with the right training could tell there was something off.

It was a summons.

She'd already opened it, skipping the markings she'd never learned to read and heading straight for the translation she knew would lie on the bottom half of the paper.

She placed her hand to her forehead and gave a solid exhale, glad she was working alone today and so no one was even around to see it. It was embarrassing, she was an adult, and she shouldn't have to put up with this anymore! But then… she supposed her age was nothing but a puny number to… to her… her dad.

Sadie weighed her options. Technically, it wasn't legally binding. By earth standards, she could just… ignore it. But she knew in her heart that that wouldn't work. If anyone out there actually cared about the laws around here, they wouldn't have sent something with so much legalese to someone they knew they had no power over after she turned 18.

Her mulling was cut short by the soft ring of the bell indicating someone had come through the door. She looked up to meet the face of a familiar half-gem.

"Hey… Steven." She tried to put on her cashier voice, but the false pep she'd had years of practice perfecting didn't shine through in the slightest. Luckily, for the moment, the boy didn't seem to notice.

"Hey, Sadie, my lady! Three chocolate donuts, please!" She couldn't help but actually genuinely smile at his warm tone, but she was still rather visibly bothered. She bent to get the donuts, distracted enough that she didn't see that Steven had glanced, and then more seriously looked, at the letter that now lay on the counter.

She held out his bag. "Here's your—Steven, are you… okay?"

His face, his whole demeanor, had changed. He looked nervous, confused… and maybe even a little afraid?

"Um… Sadie… I, uh, I didn't mean to look, and I know reading someone else's mail is against the law—please don't sic your mom on me—but I just sorta looked for a second and then I saw something and I just had to look closer, I'm sorry…" He paused, looking as if he needed to steel himself for what he said next. "…Why do you have something written in gem?"

Well, gee, no wonder he looked so on edge now. "…Oh, you can read that?"

"I mean… no? I know what gem language looks like, but I don't actually understand it." He seemed to squirm under her gaze, seeing as he still hadn't gotten an answer as to, well, _why_. His eyes pleaded for some answer, _any_ answer.

"Um… well, uh, neither do I, not really," she said, noting that Steven seemed to relax somewhat but not entirely at this revelation, "but I can tell you why I have it." She came around the counter, his bag of donuts still in her left hand, the letter now in her right. "You're gonna need to sit down first, though." She held out his order once more and he finally took it as they made their way to a table by the window.

She balled her left hand into a fist, as if she was squeezing an invisible stress ball. For a brief moment, she wondered if she should make up a lie, but as she looked into Steven's eyes, she knew he knew too much to buy it.

"Well, first off, you should know this is a summons. It's… it's from my dad."

Steven's face contorted into one of complete non-understanding; nothing she'd just said had cleared anything up. "Sadie, that doesn't make sense, why… why would your dad know how to write in gem? I mean it's not like your dad is a—you're not—gems don't have—"

She held out a hand. "Steven, this is why I wanted you to sit down. I… um… uh…" She took a deep breath.

"My dad is Blue Diamond."

Beat.

" _Excuse me?!_ "


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter proved more... difficult than expected. And shorter.

Even with the punctuation from Steven's exclamation, the reveal hung in the air as if suspended in the energy beam of an angry Aquamarine.

Steven's mouth opened and shut a few times, as if he had something to say but couldn't put it into words. Sadie felt… about the same—how do you follow up "my dad is probably one of the people you went to see after you got kidnapped"?—though the motions she went through were orders of magnitude less intense.

Steven's ability to form coherent sentences seemed to sputter slowly back to life, like the engine of an old car in winter cold. "Bu—but I—you—La—Sadie! That doesn't make any sense! You—how?!" His hands grasped at his scalp through his curly hair. "How can you explain Blue Diamond being your mom?! And if she's your mom, why did you let me and Lars _get stuck on Homeworld!?_ Couldn't you—Aaah!"

"Um… well… uh… I don't know? I don't think I could've done anything! We're… kind of estranged? And she's my dad, not my mom."

...Honestly, he was at such a loss that if he'd been writing this down in a journal or blog or something, he'd have found that he had no words to describe even his own feelings—such. confused. feelings.

He had questions. So many questions. Gems don't have dads, so didn't that mean they couldn't _be_ dads? (Of course they couldn't; every gem he knew was a "she" and didn't that make you a mom?) Was she evil? Did she have any authority on Homeworld? Did she have any powers? Did she have a gem? Was she actually half-gem at all?

Steven inwardly chastised himself. You couldn't just _ask_ someone if they were half-gem! It was rude! Or was it? Until today, he thought he'd been the only half-gem, so maybe everything he knew about being one was slightly off-base now! Oh… this was so confusing…

He was so wrapped up in his conniption that he hadn't noticed Sadie get up to grab a cup of coffee.

"Um. Steven? Are you going to… say anything else? Or just… keep freaking out? I can go back behind the counter. If you want." She drummed her hands idly against the top of the coffee cup, a look somewhere between embarrassment and guilt clear on her face as she stood at the cup station.

Steven looked to her, some of his feelings softening. He got up the gumption to open his mouth again as Sadie took a sip of her coffee.

"Ah—dah… uhm… I have a lot of weird questions and I don't wanna violate your privacy so I won't ask them but I gotta know: how did this happen?"

Sadie's eyes widened, and she visibly had to fight to keep the hot coffee from coming out of her nose; apparently, this was the exact wrong question to ask. "I—we… it's a long story involving secrets, Korea, and some stuff I'd rather not discuss with you."

Steven, upset he'd done something wrong, looked at his still-uneaten bag of donuts with downcast eyes. He started to speak up to apologize, but a sigh from Sadie stopped him.

"Look. All you need to know is that I've never visited her and she's never visited me. And that… honestly, up until today, I thought we'd stopped talking and that we would never have visited."

"Okay." He rubbed his fingers against the ridged edge of the bag for a few moments before his eyebrows raised and he spoke again. "Wait, what do you mean until today you thought you never would've…"

His voice trailed off as she raised the paper once more.

"Remember how I told you this was a summons?"

He nodded, a slow movement wrought with concern.

"...That means she wants me to visit."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back by popular demand! And by that I mean I'm popular and I demanded it. XD
> 
> This chapter gets us back on track by bringing this canon-compliant with A Single Pale Rose while also establishing explicit canon-noncompliance with everything Lars of the Stars related.

"Bu-But… you can't visit!"

"Steven, what do you expect me to do? You were _just_ on Homeworld; do you think she'd take that kind of rejection lightly? For all I know, she started abducting people for the zoo on the off chance one of 'em would be me!"

Steven huffed nervously. "Well… don't you have time to, like, I dunno, think of a plan or something before you just answer her like that?"

Sadie put a finger to her chin. "Hmm, well, with the large amount of up and down in terms of transit speed, I suppose I might have a few mo—"

"Great! I'll come up with an idea!"

Sadie watched him charge out of the door before she noticed…

"Hey! You forgot your donuts!"

Sigh.

* * *

She had quit her job, joined a band, had a gig in Empire City of all places, and… still been worried about the rapidly-declining time she had to respond to the summons when Steven finally knocked on her door a few months later.

He looked… off.

"…Steven? Uh, band practice isn't for another four hours, what's—?"

"I have an idea. I think. For you going to Homeworld. And maybe rescuing Lars." He looked her straight in the eye with a smile that only looked a _little_ forced.

Sadie cocked a brow. _Some_ thing was up, but she didn't have enough information to know for sure what it was.

"Okay. Do you wanna come in and talk about it?"

The boy nodded, and she let him in, leading him to the kitchen.

"You want anything to drink? My mom made a ton of tea for game night a few days ago. If I were still working at the Big Donut, I think I'd be trying to sell it under the table. Heh."

Steven smiled a more subdued—but also more genuine—smile. "No, thanks. Maybe… later? During band practice or something?"

"Sure! Just let me know if you get thirsty or something." She poured a glass for herself and sat down at the table across from Steven. "So… what's this plan of yours?"

"Well, you… go to Homeworld. And I go too, and once we get there… I tell them I'm Pink Diamond and make them help me get Lars home."

Sadie's jaw went slack, her eyes wide. "Wait, _what_ _?_ How on earth do you expect that to work?! Isn't she dead!?"

"Well, that's the thing…"

* * *

_[Group text: BAND PRACTICE CANCELED. IMPORTANT. DO NOT COME TO MY HOUSE UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO THROW A GALLON OF TEA AT YOUR FACE. – Sadie_ ☺️ _]_

"Let me just… go over this again. So… your mom…"

"Yes."

"Pretended to shatter Pink Diamond."

"Yes."

"Except it was really Pearl pretending to be your mom pretending to shatter Pink Diamond."

"Yes."

"Because your mom was really Pink Diamond pretending to be Rose Quartz."

"Yes. That's about how everything happened." He frowned.

"Steven, I don't wanna overstep or anything, but… do you ever wanna like, stay over, have my mom make you dinner or something?"

"…Why?" He raised his eyebrows in slight confusion.

"Because moms aren't supposed to be all weird and secretive and leave that all on your shoulders like that, Steven!"

"Your dad is Blue Diamond, and she's making you come to Homeworld even though she shouldn't be allowed to."

"…Touché."

"Besides, all of the gems and my dad are pretty cool… even if they're all dealing with this their own way, too…"

"Wait, she didn't tell any of them?"

He shook his head. "I mean, Pearl knew, but she forced her not to tell. Like… actually said it as an order and stopped her from talking about it."

Sadie was quiet for a moment. "Steven, that's messed up."

"…Yeah." He sighed.

"Then again, I guess my dad is messed up, too?" She rubbed the back of her head.

To her surprise, after a few seconds of silence, Steven let out a giggle.

"Uh, Steven?"

"When you told me your dad was Blue Diamond, I thought 'wow, it's so horrible that Sadie has a Diamond for a parent'," he said, his giggles devolving into a slightly-unhinged laughing fit, "but now I've got the same problem! We both have horrible Diamond parents!" Tears sprang to his eyes, though it was unclear if they were from the laughing or the situation.

She blinked. "Heh, yeah, I guess we do. But… Steven… it's not _that_ funny."

"That's what _makes it_ that funny!" He chuckled to himself some more.

"Steven." Sadie's voice was heavy with concern; she'd just about started to believe the boy had lost it.

His laughs died down, the frown returning. "…Sorry. I just… this has been a weird weekend."

"Yeah, I bet. I remember way back when I was little and my mom sat me down to explain what Dad did. Well, does. I… Let's just say I know how you feel."

Steven smiled solemnly, strangely relieved to have someone who knew what he was going through in this most half-gem-iest of problems. "Can I take you up on your tea offer now?"

* * *

"So… how exactly do you plan on coming with me? You have to know they probably wouldn't let you on a ship considering what they think they know about you. And I don't think they'd buy that you're Pink Diamond, either. Even if to their system you technically are."

Steven sipped his tea. "…Oh, bother." He took a longer sip. "Maybe I can—no. How about..? No. I… oh! I can go through Lion! Like how I came back but in reverse! Except I don't know how to get to the surface from where I last left Lars. Uh…" He furrowed his brow and moved his finger through the air as if trying to follow an invisible map that _didn't_ involve "falling down a hole in a palanquin" as part of its trip to its destination.

Sadie sat down her own now-empty glass. "What if I go through Lion, too?"

"You know your way around Homeworld?"

"Well… no."

Steven's face fell before she continued.

"But it can't be worse than you going alone, can it? And maybe we can drag Lars on the way, too. Maybe he's learned something in the past few months."

"I guess that _could_ work." He ran his finger down the condensation on the side of his glass as he considered the altered plan. "But wait. Won't they be expecting you on a ship or something?"

Sadie made a quiet exclamation in surprise, running her hand through her hair. "Maybe… maybe I can convince them I have my own ship I can take to get there on my own? Dad always wanted me to learn more about Homeworld, but she never really made an effort to learn more about Earth. I don't think she'd think it was weird if I said I could get there on my own. Yeah. I think they'd buy it." She paused. "What do you think?"

He held his hand out for a high five, to which Sadie obliged.

"I think we have a plan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not SUPER satisfied with this, but it gets us back on track with stuff I WILL be satisfied with.


End file.
